


i don't think i'm ready (yet)

by orphan_account



Series: Ready yet? [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad Cyrus Goodman, Sad T. J. Kippen, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-28 05:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cyrus went red, shrugging softly, "I thought you texting me that you were at the park was an invitation to bring you the shirt I sent you a picture of. Guess I was wrong."TJ frowned at him, not really knowing what to say."I just- I think I need a little bit of space from you right now."





	i don't think i'm ready (yet)

**Author's Note:**

> this is very sad lol i can't seem to ever write anything that doesn't have angst, but oh well 🤧  
> enjoy<3 
> 
> \- Jay xx
> 
> P. S. this is completely based off of the song "Ready Yet" by sasha sloan<3 jusr thought i'd throw that out there!

"Why can't you just tell me what's _wrong_ _?_ _"_

Cyrus pondered TJs words. It was a good question, he couldn't deny that, bit that didn't mean he had an answer to it. "You should know, TJ."

TJ was standing in front of him, red in the face with anger wnd frustration over the conversation happening at the moment.

The two boys had decided to meet up at the park and go for a walk to talk about things. More specifically why they couldn't seem to be in the same room as the other without Cyrus getting uncomfortable. TJ had cornered him while seeking out an answer as to _what went wrong_ _._ Cyrus said he wasn't avoiding TJ, but his actions were proving otherwise, and the older boy wanted- no _needed-_ to know why. It was driving him crazy not knowing.

"Well, clearly I don't!" He snapped, causing Cyrus to flinch, backing up a little bit.

He could feel his face grow red as he prepared for himself to mutter his next words to TJ, scared beyond belief. "TJ..."

The taller of yhe two immediately softened at his tone, "Talk to me. What's up, underdog."

"I.. I'm really young, and maybe I'm being stupid, but you- you made me fall in love with you." Cyrus felt tears fill his eyes as he watched TJs face for a reacting. All he got in return was a set of wide eyes and a dropped jaw. "I'm not even sure what love it, but I know for a fact that my feelings so beyond a simple crush. Being around you makes me dizzy, and my stomach is constantly filled with butterflies. I always feel so nervous, and happy, and excited, and maybe its not love, but it's _so_ close to it, that I don't know what else to call it. I'm sorry."

He could practically see the gears turning in TJs head, but he just sat silently, waiting patiently for the inevitable rejection.

"Okay... but that- that doesn't explain what's wrong?"

Cyrus' eyebrows pinched together in confusion, not sure what TJ was implying, "I'm in love you with. You like Kira. I'm jealous."

"I like Kira? Since when?"

"Since you took her to the swings, I guess. I don't know! But I can tell you do." Cyrus stated, "which is okay! I'm so happy you're happy, Teej. You deserve to be."

TJ shook his head frantically, "I'm really sorry we were at the swings, but how did you even know?" He asked confused.

Cyrus went red, shrugging softly, "I thought you texting me that you were at the park was an invitation to bring you the shirt I sent you a picture of. Guess I was wrong."

TJ frowned at him, not really knowing what to say.

"I just- I think I need a little bit of space from you right now."

Without giving TJ a chance to respond, Cyrus turned around abruptly amd walked away, ignoring the calls of his name from behind him. The last thing he heard was a distant shout of "Cyrus, I'm sorry!"

-

"He feels bad, you know?"

Cyrus shrugged. He was talking to Buffy about his conversation with TJ at the park, and she was doing her best to offer her own advice on the situation. 

"I know he does. I could see it in his eyes when we were talking." He explained to her, "However, I couldn't tell if it was because he felt bad about the Kira situation, or the fact that he didn't return my feelings."

Buffy frowned, "did he say that?"

Cyrus shook his head. TJ didn't really say anything about it, just diverted the subject onto why Cyrus was upset about it. He didn't really understand it, but when could he ever truly understand what TJ was feeling?

"Not exactly. He just said that didn't explain what was wrong," he tried finding the right words, "I think he knows he messed up, he was apologizing as I walked away."

Before Buffy could say anything else, Cyrus' phone recieved notification after notification, indicating more texts from TJ. Cyrus' fingers itched to check them, which Buffy took notice of.

"You should see what they say," she said cautiously, "don't feel obligated to reply though."

He nodded, hands immediately digging into his pocket to fish out his phone. Several messages from TJ appeared as he unlocked it.

_Teej <3: Cyrus please come back so we can talk about this_

_Teej <3: _ _I don't like Kira_ _. I'm sorry_

_Teej <3: _ _please Cyrus_

_Teej <3: i'm sorry_ _, i'm so sorry cy_

Cyrus could do nothing but lock his phone before he was wrapped uo in a hug from buffy as he let a few stray tears fall down his cheeks.

-

_Five months_ _._

Five entire months pass with Cyrus not being in contact with TJ, and he missed him. TJ tried apologizing on multiple occasions, but Cyrus found excuses to leave every single time, never giving the other boy any time to explain anything.

_TJ_ _Kippen: i want to start over. Please, im sorry_

Cyrus was used to recieving messaged from TJ on occasion, hut this one came as a bit of a surprise. It had been over two weeks since TJs last text, marking the longest he had ever gone without trying to contact him. Cyrus didn't know whether or not he could consider it a good or bad thing.

"Who's that?" Andi asked, looking over his shoulder trying to read his screen, "TJ again?" She asked, a little shocked.

He just nodded his head, "it's so hard for me to be mad at him. I don't want to be."

"I know, Cy.." She frowned.

He shrugged sadly, "I guess there's part of me that loves him still. Always will, probably."

"Are you going to respond?"

He thought about it. Would it be a bad idea? "You know what..." He began typing out a response;

_Under_ _dog_ _!: Sorry_ _can't change time_ _._ _That's all I need_ _, I promise_ _._

_TJ Kippen: oh fuck oh fuck you_ _responded_

_TJ_ _Kippen: can we_ _please meet first_ _? Then_ _I'll give you all the time you need_ _, I_ _swear._

_Underdog_ _!: you know i just wanna be your friend again_ _, tj_ _._ _._ _. i just want ALL of these bad feelings to end_

_Underdog!: but_ _there's some stuff i_ _can't forget._

_Underdog_ _!: i_ _don't think_ _i'm ready yet_ _._

_Underdog_ _!: hit me up_ _another time, maybe_ _i'll change my mind_ _._

And with that, Cyrus muted the chat and left it alone.

-

"I want to call him." The table immediately went silent at Cyrus' words, Buffy and Andi forgetting whatever conversation they were having, and Jonah looking up from his lunch tray with a cautious expression on his face.

"Do you think it's the right time to?" He thought over Buffy's question. It had been a month since he told TJ he needed more time, and while the older boy was giving him his space, he also remembered to send reminders to Cyrus' letting him know he was waiting for whenever he was ready to talk.

Cyrus shook his head sadly, "No.. i don't think so."

He knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't just leave his feelings behind and ignore them. Until they were gone, he would just wait to talk to T again.

-

"Hey.." Cyrus looked up in shock at the voice speaking to him. 

"TJ." He breathed out, quickly standing up in front of the taller boy.

"It's been way too long, I need my best friend back." TJ had a look of determination on his face, and Cyrus felt his stomach drop knowing he was going to have to let TJ down with his answer.

"Teej.."

" _Please_ , Cyrus." He begged, eyes already filling with unshed tears, but he didn't let them fall.

"TJ.. _all_ that I want is to take you back." Cyrus could see a look of hooe cross TJs features, and his heart ached as he muttered his next words, "but I'm sorry.. my heart doesn't work like that. I'm not ready yet."

He walked away as fast as he could, not wanted to see the broken expression that crossed TJs face watching him leave.

**Author's Note:**

> should I write a part2? 👀 i probably will anyway, but still thought i'd ask haha 
> 
> find me on Tumblr!  
> @tippen-jippen-kippen


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